Monday, May 10, 2010

Closing thoughts about Alaska

So many great and terrible things happened to the Elston family while living in AK for the last 2 years and 10 months and 3 days.

With so many life events crowded into the first year of marriage it was bound to be one helluva ride. And, so it was. Marriage, moving, new job for Kristi, pregnancy #1, graduation, new job for Josh, 5 weeks in AL away from Kristi, packing, moving to AK, buying a first home, buying a first crib, painting a baby room and delivering baby #1 all thrown into year number one of marriage we thought we would never catch our breath.

I was busy learning my new job working many, many long hours when Lily came along on a dark, winter day, close to the shortest day of the year. It was -10F when we brought her home that first day. Then Kristi stopped being a nurse to be a full-time mom. Raising Lily for the 1st 9 months, with a tired stressed mama and a tired, stressed dad was probably one of the worst times of my whole life. Lily was miserable so, therefore, mama was. Mama was miserable, so, therefore, I was too. We hung on as best we could to God and to each other. We didn't find a church (and friends) for almost a year and a half. With no outlets for either of us and a sick baby, it all just seemed too much at times. We began to HATE Alaska and resent the beauty of it that we could only ever admire from our home window. With no energy to venture out with Lily, we just survived. Al the while, Kristi and I's relationship grew and grew. All for the better.

After Kristi took the time to figure out Lily's ailments things got better. Kristi found a lousy job, but it gave her time to talk and think like an adult, it gave Lily some time to socialize, and it gave me some peace of mind knowing that both were doing better. I won't tell the terrible stories of how we eventually found our wonderful nanny but I'm sure any parent could fill in the blanks about that, eh-hem, adventure. Peace came again, but only shortly, when pregnancy number #2 was bestowed upon our house. Just 8 months after Lily's birth news of #2 was already thundering down the halls. Suddenly, our house, and my paycheck seemed much smaller than before. Too shocked ourselves, we kept #2 quiet until halfway through the 2nd trimester. Baby two has to be different we thought. Easier to raise, no allergies, please God.

Reese Caroline came in the summer time, close the longest day of the year. She was born around 9pm but the sun was still out. God had been working on mom and dad while Reese was cooking so we both felt slightly more prepared. And, at least, we had a full wardrobe of pink clothes already purchased for her. Maybe my wallet can stretch farther than I thought. Reese is certainly mellower and less dramatic than Lily but also comes with food allergies. So be it. If we can deal with it with one kid, two shouldn't be too much. After all, buying dairy-free, soy-free, and gluten-free in bulk should be cheaper, right? Well, in Alaska it's not.

Today, we are more a family than ever. Kristi is the most wonderful mother. She's so loving, a wonderful teacher, a great discipline-er and still finds time to make a me a hot meal before I come home from work. I admire, respect, and love her with all of my heart. I love her more than when we left for Alaska, more than when Lily came, more than when Reesie Piece came, and more today than yesterday.

The Air Force was and has been very, very good to me. There's something intangible serving in the military offers me that gets me out of bed and off to work everyday. Most days I may even carry a smile on my face into work. God blessed me with the right job, the right boss, the right staff, and the right place all at the same time. Heading to CA, I feel quite prepared for my next position. And, I greatly look forward to the sun and a shorter winter.

Alaska is big. Huge. It's wonderful, majestic, and beautiful. You should come visit. You can't help but worship the Creator of such a place. Sometimes I think He made those mountain outside my front window just for me. Even though I saw the same mountain out my window everyday, I never grew tired of them. I never wished for another view. I was satisfied. What a rare feeling for me on this earth. But, make no mistake. It was never the creation that was amazing, it was only ever the Creator.

God is bigger than Alaska (which, by no small coincidence, is also bigger than TX). He's bigger than unplanned pregnancies and colicky babies. He's bigger than the 18 hour plane ride home to either TX or NC. He's bigger than school loans or home loans. And, best of all He's bigger than the struggles we've endured up here. Halelujiah, we've survived and, dare I say, even grown as a result of living in AK.

Kristi and I have grown closer than ever. Our kids have grown. I have grown a lot as a dad but am amazed at how slow my growth has been. Two kids and I still feel like I'm just figuring out how to be a dad, let alone a good one. I'm so selfish. But, I have learned one thing about being a dad so far- time is what matters most to kids. Their toys get old and they don't care about my money. But, they long for my time. My kids think I'm the coolest when I'm laying down in the middle of the floor with them, just being there with them, as if I were one of them. Jesus does the same thing with me. Cool.

I pray for blessings on blessings for the friends we have made up here. To the Wagners, The Rizer's, the Braquet's, the Schlei's, and the Wilson's...thank you. Thank you for going through our struggles with us; for consistently and lovingly offering to help us carry our burdens. Jesus used you to rescue us out of the miry pit (Ps 40). I learned how to love my wife better, be a better dad, and to know Christ and his goodness more because of you all, my friends. Thanks for sharing your love and your state with my family.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Darn you JOSH!!! I have made it until NOW without crying about you all moving. GRRR!!! I am so greatful the friendship that I have made with that sweet wife of yours, and yeah...you are pretty cool too. Love you guys, and may God continue to bless and keep you!!! Watch out...those crazy Wagner's from AK might actually visit you in sunny CA!! michelle

J-rod said...

Josh: this reminds me of a passage I recently studied in 1 Peter where Peter talks about trials testing our faith and making it genuine. Hoping that the trails won't be as tough after the move to CA:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Freelance Thinker said...

Hey Josh,
Uncle Harry enjoyed your blog. Life is not easy but you are handling it well. Hang in there and enjoy your new adventure in California!

Samantha said...

Beautiful! Kristi is a lucky woman and you're a lucky man. I hope you all continue to grow during your new adventure in California.

Kristen said...

Thank you for sharing. What a blessing it is to see your humbleness through these words as your faith shines through. You are all one blessed family for sure. God's blessings to you all in CA!

stephenriley said...

Josh, I just read your blog post from May and I made my husband read it too. You are real. Love you, marcy